Desolate
by Lea0014
Summary: Written in collaboration with hbarker. Rose Hathaway was left desolate after Dimitri's restoration. Over a year later, she's left picking up the pieces of her life. Will she be able to recover? Takes place during Spirit Bound. VA-AU. Disclaimer: All VA characters belong to RM.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: This story was written in collaboration with the wonderfully fantastical hbarker! You rock!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own VA or any of its characters!**

LPOV

Lissa was worried. The object of her concern was currently seated at her dining room table. The other woman was studying her intently. Huffing, Rose asked, "Where are we going, Liss?" Usually she didn't have to ask, but could simply read her thoughts through the bond. However, currently Lissa was blocking Rose's attempt, wanting to surprise her friend. She knew how much she hated surprises, but Lissa figured this would be an exception. She might also secretly have wanted to irritate Rose enough for her best friend to show some sort of emotion.

"You'll see," was Lissa's only response, followed by a mischievous grin. Walking toward the table, she reached for Rose's hand, pulling her toward the front door.

Rolling her eyes, Rose responded, "Yes, Your Highness." She saw Rose try to smile at the title she knew irritated Lissa, but saw it didn't reach her eyes. Lissa, noting this, just sighed and closed the door behind them. Walking through the streets, they quickly made their way to their destination. As they neared, she saw the recognition appear on Rose's face. "You're taking me to the spa?"

"Yup! I've been so busy with the queen and school that we haven't been able to spend much time together."

"What do you mean, Liss? I'm around you like twenty-four seven."

Lissa groaned. "You guarding me is hardly considered spending time together. "

"But we _are_ together when I'm guarding you."

Rolling her eyes, Lissa pressed on, "Just because you're there physically, doesn't mean we've been able to catch up!"

Once they reached the spa, Lissa checked them in before they were quickly ushered to the back. They would begin with full body massages. "You really know how to spoil a girl," Rose remarked.

Feeling unbidden emotion, Lissa replied wholeheartedly, "Rose, you deserve this. I'm not spoiling you, I'm giving you what you deserve; a token of my appreciation for you. I love you." She noted how Rose's only response was a quick nod. Lissa knew that in the past, a statement such as this would have Rose near tears.

They engaged in small talk before both were whisked away to their own private nirvana by the deeply relaxing massages. It wasn't until they had moved on to their nail treatments that Lissa decided to broach the sensitive subject. "So, how was your session?" To anyone that heard, they were likely discussing a training session, given Rose was a guardian. But she knew Rose understood the meaning.

Sighing, she shrugged and replied, "It was fine."

Lissa narrowed her eyes at her before pushing out her thoughts. ' _Rosemarie Hathaway! 'You will tell me how the session went, and I mean it. You can't keep going on like this. I'm worried about you!'_

"Later, okay?" Rose said quietly. Lissa barely caught the words as Rose grumbled, "Stupid one-way bond."

Once they were finished and outside, both agreed to go to Rose's apartment in guardian housing. This would give them the opportunity to hang out some more, as well as give them some privacy. Lissa suggested they pick up a pizza on the way, to which Rose agreed. It had only been recently that Rose's appetite had returned to at least half its usual level.

After arriving, Lissa closed the door behind her and quickly followed Rose to the breakfast nook, where she had set down the pizza. Turning to get some plates, Rose quickly placed them on the nook and went to the refrigerator for refreshments. Once everything was set, they began to get slices of pizza, eating in awkward silence. After eating her first slice, Lissa realized how silly she was being and decided to raise the subject of Rose's session once again. "So, how was it?"

Rose sighed. "It was fine, Liss. What can I say? You know how much I hate going to therapy." Rose wrinkled her nose in distaste.

Rose, at Lissa's insistence, had recently started seeing the court psychologist. Her depression after Guardian Belikov's, or, rather Dimitri's, restoration had become so severe, she had taken to not eating or sleeping well. The toll had not only been physical, but mental as well, leaving Rose an emotional shell. "I know Rose, but I'm worried about you. You aren't yourself!"

"What do you want me to do, Liss?"

"You could tell me what happened in the session," she suggested. While she knew what they had discussed in her session was private, Lissa needed to know that Rose was at least willing to keep going and trying to get better.

"Fine. We talked, or rather I mostly talked. She mostly asked questions." Sighing heavily, Rose continued, "I just don't see the point. How is me talking about my feelings going to change anything? On top of that, she gave me this ridiculous assignment."

Peaking Lissa's interest, she asked, "What's the assignment?"

"She wants me to start a journal and write out my feelings. She wants me to write as if I'm talking to the person or persons that I feel hurt me. Something about getting it out. She says it will help me 'find peace', her words, not mine."

"And?" Lissa prompted.

"And, what?" Rose mimicked.

Lissa rolled her eyes, "When are you going to get started?"

Rose shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I have to go buy a journal."

"Absolutely not, Rose! I don't want you to hold back on this!" Lissa then went to search the desk and found loose-leaf notebook paper. Thrusting it at her, she said, "Here, you could write your entries on these until we get you a journal!"

Rolling her eyes, Rose reluctantly took the paper from her hand, setting it on the table beside her. Obviously wishing to change the subject, Rose suggested watching some movies while they finished the pizza. By the time they were through, it was nearly 12pm, well into the Moroi night. Though Lissa had insisted on going home by herself, Rose, ever the vigilant guardian, made sure to accompany Lissa there and back.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Written in collaboration with the wonderfully fantastical hbarker! You rock!  
** **Disclaimer: I do not own VA or any of its characters.**

RPOV

Rose was exhausted. When she made it back to her unit, she immediately got ready for bed. Once in bed, however, sleep seemed to elude her. Frustrated, she got up and decided to try her hand at working on the damned assignment. After all, she knew it would make Liss happy, and just maybe she could get something out of it as well.

Grabbing the sheets, she proceeded to sit at her worn desk, pulling a pen from the cup holder. Placing the pen to paper, she began:

'Dear', she started, before crossing it out. _No, not dear. You aren't dear to me, not anymore. No matter how much I want you to be_ , she thought, before she began again.

Comrade,

I see you. I see you walking around court with _her._ Holding _her_ hand, and laughing with _her_ , like nothing is wrong. Like I don't exist. I've seen that love-sick look she has every time you're around. Like she's lucky to have you. Let's be honest – she is.

I see you avoiding me; keeping your distance. I see the questioning looks others give at your cold attitude. Making me feel like it's my fault, when really, my only fault is in loving you.

I see you casting your sideway glances. But like you, I just pretend. I pretend what we had never existed. I pretend that I don't know you, just as you do with me.

I see you sometimes, with a far-off look in your eyes when you're watching me. Are you imagining what life would be like if you were still with me? I know I do.

You know what, comrade? Fuck you! Fuck you for leaving me. Fuck you for moving on and finding happiness without me. No, not happiness, because I know you're not happy, not really. I know you think you are, but I've seen the forced smiles and heard the tight laughs. If you were happy, truly happy, then I'd be happy for you. But you aren't, we both know it.

I hate how rejected I feel. I hate that it feels like I was used, strung along, and dumped, without so much as a word. I hate that it's been over a year, but yet, it still only feels like yesterday.

I hate that it's your voice in my head when I'm fighting strigoi. 'Don't hesitate', was one of your first lessons; and I don't. 'No, Rose, straighten your form. Drive your kick using your hips. It'll be more powerful'; and I do. I hate that when I'm fighting, it's your voice inside my head, saving me. You're always there, urging me to fight and not let go. And, I don't. I guess I should thank you for training me to be the killing machine that I am today. But that's all I am now – a machine. The rest disappeared the day you walked away.

I hate the feeling I have, every time I'm near you. Like a magnet that pulls me toward you; a magnet that I have to constantly fight against. I hate that every time I enter a room, yours are the first set of eyes I see, as if I subconsciously know where you are. Maybe I do. I hate the disappointment I feel when you're not around. I hate that my favorite smell in the world is the mixture of your aftershave and the scent that I could only describe as you. I hate the shiver that runs through me, every time I hear you speak. But you never speak to me, never me. Right comrade?

I hate that you shut me out and didn't even give me the opportunity to help you. I hate that you were hurting so much, because I was hurting too. I hate that you made my decision for me and threw me aside. I hate that you didn't trust that what I told you was true; I had forgiven you the day you were restored. But I don't know if I can forgive you for this. For the way you treat me. I hate that you accepted Tasha's offer and allow her to be near you; to hold you, love you. Why her and not me? I hate that you allowed your guilt to get between us, because really, it wasn't you. You would never have done those things to me. I could see it, why couldn't you?

I can't stand that I'm a shell of my former self; I'm not even the same with my friends, even though I try. I hate that the joy left my life with you, because really, how could I have any joy without you? I hate the sorrowful looks Lissa gives me every time she has you and Tasha over.

I hate that I watch her body, looking for signs of a tell-tale bump each time she passes by. I hate the swelling of hope that I feel when I see none; and that I wish that _I_ could be the one to give you children, even though we both know that's not possible. I never even wanted children! Look at what a hypocrite I've become.

I hate that I have to see a therapist because Lissa is worried about me. I hate that I have to write down my stupid emotions and 'let it all out'. What good does it do me? It doesn't change anything. I can't turn back time. If I could, I'd probably make it so I'd have never met you. No, that's not true. I would've made it so I'd have never lost you. But what good does it do me? To wish? To dream? It doesn't do any good.

Did you know I dream about you? When I do, it feels so real. I almost cry from the disappointment I feel every time I wake up. In my dreams you're there, holding me, whispering sweet nothings to me while I sleep. I dream of the house Avery made, when she was trying to get into my head. I dream we live there, and we're happy. I dream that we went back to Baia and told your family you were restored. Your family was happy that we are finally together. But no, it wasn't me who you went with. Did they ask for me? What did you say? Did you tell them we just parted ways? Did you tell them I didn't want you anymore? No, you may be many things, but you wouldn't lie.

Did you know you've ruined me for all men? I can't even have a decent relationship! I tried. I tried so hard to be with Adrian. I tried to be the woman he deserves, but I couldn't. Every time he wanted to be intimate, I'd see your brown eyes staring into mine, not his. I'd feel your hands caressing me, loving me the way you did. I'd hear you whisper my name, 'Roza'. I just couldn't do it. I couldn't be with anyone that isn't you. Adrian is a good guy though. No, a great guy. He accepted that we couldn't be together, and after a while he was okay being just friends.

I hate that I'm Adrian's new drinking buddy and that I have to drink away my sorrows. But really, no amount of alcohol could ever let me forget you. I hate that I drink so much on my days off. Had I been human, I would've blown my liver a long time ago. I don't know if it's a blessing or a curse. Isn't that sad?

Do you want to hear the worst part? The worst part is that I don't hate you, not at all. Not even a little. I hate that I love you. I hate that I still love you.

Do you ever think of me, comrade? Because I can't stop thinking of you.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: This story was written in collaboration with the wonderfully fantastical hbarker! You rock!**

 **I hope there wasn't any confusion for the name change! I made the stupid mistake of accidentally taking the name of an awesome story by tabby2111. Sorry girl! I hope you guys like the new title!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own VA or any of its characters!**

LPOV

It was two weeks later. Lissa had attended a royal function at the behest of the Queen. It had been a particular successful event, allowing Lissa to hone her diplomatic skills. She had even impressed the Queen after winning a friendly debate with one of the more stalwart attendees. Tatiana had assured Lissa that she was quickly becoming adept at diplomacy and constructive discourse, both traits needed if she were to serve on the council.

As the night was still young, Lissa felt the need to celebrate her success. Not only would it be an opportunity to celebrate, but also to spend some quality time with Rose. There had been rumors of her friend's excessive drinking habits, so Lissa decided to use the outing to see if there was any truth to the gossip. As Rose was officially off duty, she eagerly accepted the invitation. Once they arrived back at Rose's quarters, she made her way to her room. "Okay Liss, wait for me here while I go change," she called out over her shoulder before shutting the door.

Lissa simply nodded as her eyes scanned the room. It was when they settled on the small, worn desk that she spied familiar sheets of paper. Walking over to the desk, she glanced down at the pages, seeing Rose's messy handwriting, she quickly realized that Rose had, in fact, worked on her assignment. She smiled, happy that her friend was doing what the therapist had asked. She hoped that maybe, with time, they would be able to put everything behind them. Even though Lissa was very curious, she didn't want to invade Rose's privacy so she stepped back and sat primly on the couch waiting for Rose to finish dressing.

After several minutes, however, Lissa found herself growing impatient. Walking to Rose's bedroom door, she knocked before opening the door. "Rose?" she called out as she entered the room. She saw Rose standing in her bra and underwear, with her back to her, facing the closet. Lissa quickly averted her eyes, instead looking down at her shoes. "Do you need any help?"

"Huh? Oh no, I'm fine. I'm just trying to figure out what to wear," Rose responded, without glancing back.

"Are you sure? It'll be like old times," Lissa said with a small smile tugging at her lips, reminiscing on the days when she Rose were much closer.

"It's okay Liss, I got this," she remarked with a shrug.

Lissa felt a pang of sadness at her words, but then realized how absurd she was being. Brushing it off, she quickly obliged, backing out of the room before closing the door. "Sure, I'll be waiting out here."

Not long after, Rose emerged in a pair of skinny jeans, a tight, black top accompanied by red pumps that gave her outfit a pop. Feeling a little overdressed, Lissa wondered if she should change into something more casual as well. Before she could voice her thoughts, however, Rose said, "No Liss, you look perfect. That dress looks beautiful on you. It could be used for a royal event or a night out in the town." Not completely convinced, but wanting to oblige her, Lissa acquiesced. Both women set out to the local bar at court, where they were likely to find Adrian. Lissa had asked Christian to go as well, and he promised to meet them at the bar. He knew she wanted to spend some quality time with Rose.

As the night progressed, Lissa soon realized that the rumors regarding Rose were quite true. She decided she had seen enough when both she and Christian witnessed Rose stumble off of her barstool several times. Instead of helping her, Adrian would simply laugh, given he was pretty inebriated himself. She met Christian's concerned gaze, silently agreeing that the three needed to leave. He nodded; he too was not accustomed to seeing Rose in such a state. With that, both left their booth and headed toward the bar where Adrian and Rose were seated.

"Come on Rose, it's time to go," Christian declared, helping Rose off her stool, ensuring she didn't fall, yet again.

"What?" she grumbled. After a beat, it seemed to dawn on her what Christian had said. "No, its too early!" she whined. Rose was never like this. Not even during their years back at the academy. Yes, both had enjoyed imbibing back then, each achieving a decent level of intoxication, but at no time had Rose gotten to the level that she was today. It seemed to her that her friend's behavior almost mirrored her own back when Avery had compelled Lissa to drink. Admittedly, she would drink the first drink herself, but once her defenses were down, Avery had gone in for the attack, leaving Lissa with no choice but to obey. What had Lissa concerned was that while she had the excuse of an outer force, Rose had none. She was doing this all on her own.

Sighing, Christian explained, "Lissa has to be up early tomorrow." He then smirked, before saying, "Unless you want to be smashed during your guardian shift."

Rose winced. She had never let Lissa down while being her guardian, and they knew she wasn't going to begin now. "Fine," she grumbled. "But, donuts are on you, pyro," she said pointing at him.

After saying their farewells to Adrian, who decided to remain at the bar, saying the night was still young, they set off on their journey back to Rose's apartment. Navigating through court, both Christian and Lissa were half carrying and half dragging a stumbling Rose. Lissa was grateful, more than ever, to have Christian by her side. She knew that he was just as concerned for Rose. Though her best friend and her boyfriend didn't share the same friendship Rose and Lissa shared, she knew that Christian cared for Rose immensely. Lissa knew that seeing her like this was likely affecting him just as much.

After witnessing Rose trying and failing to fish out her keys from her purse several times, Lissa took matters into her own hands, and used her spare key. Opening the door, she quickly turned to Christian, saying, "Thanks. I've got it from here." As Lissa wanted to spare Rose any further humiliation.

"Okay, I'll wait for you outside," he responded. With a quick peck to her lips, he turned and made his way down the hallway. Sighing, Lissa helped Rose to her room, maneuvering her to the bed. She turned her attention to Rose's chest of drawers. Hearing a muffled 'plunk' followed by a moan, she turned around, spying Rose passed out on top of the bed. Sighing to herself, Lissa moved to the foot of the bed, slipping off Rose's heels. She then pulled the folded blanket out from under her feet, placing it over her friend's prone body. Feeling her work was done, she moved to the door, closing it silently behind her.

Passing the desk on her way out, her eyes once again caught sight of the loose pages. This time, she found herself unable to contain her curiosity. She reached out and picked up the pages, instinctually looking at Rose's door as she did. Seeing it still shut and no sounds emanating from inside, she turned back the sheets in her hand. As she scanned the contents, silent tears began to fall. She had known Rose was suffering, but she did not know the extent of it until now. As she contemplated how to use the information to help her friend, her thoughts were interrupted. "What are you doing?" the reproachful, although slurred, voice said from behind.

"No…Nothing," she stuttered. She turned to look at Rose, guilt most likely clearly etched on her face. She was holding the sheets behind her back. Seeing the fury marked on Rose's face, Lissa instinctually backed up until her backside hit the worn desk.

"Don't give me that bull, Liss! You were reading my journal – my _private_ thoughts!" Rose screeched, sounding more and more irate by the moment. Rose then stalked toward her, reaching behind and yanking the sheets from her hand. With a scowl, she opened the drawer, stuffed the sheets inside, and shut it with a loud 'thud' _._

Lissa immediately stepped away, wanting to put space between them. She knew Rose would never harm her, but that didn't mean she wanted to be in close proximity at the moment. Trying to collect her thoughts, Lissa finally responded, "I'm sorry. It's just that…by Vlad, Rose! Look at you!" Rose had a look of scorn on her face, but Lissa pressed on. "You're drinking irresponsibly, and you're not taking care of yourself. What would have happened if Christian and I weren't there to help you?"

Rose scoffed. "So what? Is this an intervention?"

Sighing, she replied wearily, "No, Rose, this isn't an intervention. There aren't enough people here for that." She then said earnestly, placing as much feeling through the bond as she could muster, "I just want you to get better! You're not you!" Motioning at her friend, she continued, "This is not the Rose Hathaway I know."

She saw Rose's expression soften. "I know, and I'm sorry Liss," she responded, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Don't be sorry, Rose. Just please try! Don't you see? You're the only family I have left!" Lissa had finally laid it all out. She felt tears threaten to spill.

"But, you have Christian," Rose remarked.

"Yes, and I love him dearly, but he's not my family. You're my sister. I know we're not blood related, but that doesn't matter. You're my sister Rose, and I'm so worried about you!" Unable to hold back any longer, she felt the stream of hot tears trail down her cheeks.

"I'm so sorry Lissa. I'll try harder! Please, just don't cry," Rose said earnestly. Believing her words and emotions had made some sort of impact, Lissa quickly dried her eyes before giving her friend a hug. Wishing Rose a good night, she left feeling more optimistic. Maybe Rose would try and get better now, she thought.

That hope quickly disintegrated when Lissa heard that Rose had, yet again, gone on a drinking binge not three days later. She had tried to give Rose the benefit of the doubt and to let her heal on her own, but that obviously wasn't working. She couldn't even keep a simple promise.

Even though Lissa was by no means an expert yet, as she was gradually learning to control her gift. She practiced diligently and carefully, not wanting to push too hard, lest she overwhelm herself or Rose. Nonetheless, Lissa had tackled the skill of reading auras. In the beginning, it had been a hard concept to grasp. It was as if there was a flicker of color, but she'd have to squint to see it. She had initially attributed it to a trick of the light and felt disheartened. However, after reassurances from Adrian, and additional training, she had noticed her ability was improving. Soon after, she didn't have to squint. With just a glance she could see a burst of color over each person telling her what their mood was at that moment. Still not quite sure what the colors signified, she had consulted with Adrian as well as making deductions on her own. She had decided to observe the auras of the people closest to her to help her define each shade. After all, she felt that as she knew them best, it would be easier to interpret the color of their auras.

After Rose's fallout with Dimitri, Lissa had taken a particular interest in the two. She had decided to keep an eye on both of their auras. She felt that was the least she could do, keep an eye out on Dimitri's aura. She didn't have the heart to go to him after Rose and him parted ways. She felt torn, but her loyalties lied with Rose, and therefore her attention had lied with her. She tried to talk to Rose about what happened, but Rose wouldn't have it. She made Lissa promise to never mention him again, and so she did.

In the beginning, Lissa had noticed the same pattern in Dimitri's aura. It was dark, with mixtures of dark green, a mixture of navy and indigo blue, and a deep purple; all of which she learned to associate with guilt, deep depression, despair, and foreboding. Rose had similar colors, though she lacked the dark green. With time, Lissa noted a change in Dimitri's aura. Though the same colors, albeit lighter over time, remained in Dimitri's aura, she would also catch flashes of pink when she caught him gazing at Rose. The pink, she soon realized, was longing. Perplexed, she made sure to watch him closer, to ensure her reading was accurate. Sure enough, she would see those quick flashes of pink every time he regarded Rose. Feeling excited, Lissa tried to tell Rose, numerous times in fact, about her discovery. It had been no use, as Rose had expressly forbidden Lissa to mention his name around her. So, she begrudgingly kept her observations to herself.

Lissa now faced a conundrum. Reflecting on everything that had enfolded, she reluctantly made her decision, feeling as if she had no other choice. After careful consideration and hours of internal debate, she decided that it would be best for Dimitri to know the contents of the letter Rose had penned. After all, technically it was a letter to him, Lissa reasoned, attempting to justify her decision – her betrayal of her best friend. Because she knew that is exactly how Rose would view it – an act of betrayal. Not only that, she was also violating her trust. She had entrusted Lissa with her deepest secrets. She had told her of her sessions with the psychologist. Now, Lissa was delivering the most inner thoughts and feelings of her friend to the object of her suffering. She felt bad – no guilty. More importantly, she rationalized, it was because of her love for Rose that she ultimately decided to break that most sacred trust. In doing so, she knew it would be risking the fury that only _the Rose Hathaway_ could impart.

She just hoped that her mental walls would hold long enough for her to complete her mission. After all, she could feel Rose pushing and prodding, trying to force her way into Lissa's mind. However, her determination to help her friend was stronger, and she doubled her efforts. She knew she was using too much spirit, and no doubt, she would pay for it later, in the form of spirit darkness. However, at the moment, Lissa's concerns were only for Rose. With the decision made, she set out to achieve her goal.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN:** **Hey, this is hbarker. Just apologizing for the delay in getting this chapter out. Between getting sick and work stuff, I couldn't get it to Lea sooner. Enjoy!**

 **AN (Lea): This story was written in collaboration with the wonderfully fantastical hbarker! You rock! Sorry for the delay guys, it took me forever to get my portion to hbarker to begin with.**

 **Disclaimer: We do not own VA or any of its characters!**

It's been a little over a year; 381 days, and 14 hours since he'd been restored, to be exact. He still had the same nightmares. _No_ , he thought bitterly, _not nightmares – memories_.

Every night he'd dream of his victims, over and over, like an endless playlist of terror. They always came: the faces of his victims, his feeling of empowerment; the power he held over his victims, and the ruthlessness of his actions. There were many times he'd try not to fall asleep, instead staying awake for as long as possible. However, in the end, sleep would eventually claim him. There was never any escape.

He'd dream of what he did to _her_. Just thinking of her would cause his heart to ache. How could he have done those wretched things to her? He couldn't stand being around her. She had loved him, and she had hunted him down to set him free. How did he repay her? He sees the cost every time he looks in her eyes. In his visions, he sees the trusting, yet glossy eyes she had when he would feed. He would see her slight pallor from the blood loss, and the fresh puncture wounds on her neck. Wounds _he_ had made. He'd see how he used her desire against her; to convince her to spend eternity with him as his dark princess. No, not as a princess, but as a Queen. Even as a strigoi, Dimitri had known Rose was truly special. It was different, nonetheless. As a dhampir, Dimitri had truly, unconditionally, and incandescently loved Rose. He felt no one could ever love anything so much as he had loved her. As a strigoi, Dimitri's love morphed into a possessiveness and thirst for power. With her, he saw the promise of what they could achieve together. Now, he couldn't stand looking at Rose. She was the living embodiment of the sins he had committed.

He knew he was being unfair by pushing her away, but he couldn't help it. She didn't deserve what he had put her through, and he didn't deserve her forgiveness, let alone her love! He thought she was deluding herself by convincing herself she had truly forgiven him. He figured with time, she'd see him as the monster he truly was, and she'd grow to resent him. Realizing she would eventually turn away from him in horror and disdain, he had pushed her away, uncertain he could have handled her presumed rejection. To ensure there was nothing left to rebuild from, he had told her he didn't love her and could never love again. At the time, he had believed it was true, for how could a monster like him know love? He only knew depression, an all-consuming guilt, and despair in his waking life. But while sleeping, when most would be at peace, he only experienced hate, greed, malevolence, and darkness. There was no room in his life anymore for something as pure or as beautiful as love.

With time, he had realized he had been wrong. It had started with the little things: in the simple enjoyment of a fresh cup of coffee, the feeling of the warm sun upon his face, and the small humor he'd find in a well-told joke. He had finally learned to appreciate the little things and realized that life was truly worth living. He couldn't waste the second chance he had been given. It was in those moments that he realized what a tremendous mistake he had made in pushing away Rose. Initially, what started out as simple avoidance, slowly turned into a habit. He wanted to start over and try to make amends, but it was too late. His words and actions had achieved their objective, and he knew she would never forgive him. He had no one to blame but himself. He consoled himself, however, in that they would have likely parted regardless, sooner or later. Though he knew it could have been on better terms, he still hoped Rose would have a much better with life without him. He knew she was strong, and he had no doubt that she would achieve great things in life. With that thought, Dimitri had decided to live with what was given to him, trying to be at least content with all that he had. Nonetheless, nothing could have prepared him for what was to come.

He had just returned to his room in the house he shared with Tasha. As he was settling down to read one of his favorite western novels, there was a soft knock on the door. Rising from the chair, he walked to the door and opened, uncertain as to who would be visiting. He was quite shocked as he took in the young, blonde royal standing before him. "Princess Vasilisa," he said with uncertainty, while giving her a short bow. "What a pleasant surprise. Tasha is with the council at the moment, but please come in." He assumed she was there in regards to either Tasha's work towards Dhampir rights, or the addition of offensive and defensive magic classes for Moroi.

She flashed a small smile as he led her to the parlor. Dimitri offered her a seat on the couch while he took the smaller love seat to the right. "Actually, I'm not here to see Tasha. I'm here to see you," she explained.

Somewhat surprised, Dimitri replied, "How may I be of assistance, Princess?"

"Please, call me Lissa," she responded automatically.

Dimitri smiled briefly. "What could I do for you, Lissa?" he asked.

"It's not what you could do for me exactly. I actually have something to give to you." As he tried to ponder her meaning, she slowly produced a few sheets of notebook paper from her bag. Holding them firmly in her hand, she said, "What I am about to do violates so many of my personally held tenants, as well as a few friendship codes and medical laws. However, I simply cannot sit around any longer and do nothing. Everything has gone too far."

With that she gently pressed the sheets of paper into his hand. Dimitri looked down at the them with a frown before he started to unfold the sheets. He instantly recognized the messy handwriting immediately. "This is from Rose," he said, his eyes shooting up to look into Lissa's.

"Yes, it was part of an exercise her therapist had assigned. It was never meant to be seen by _anyone_."

"She's seeing a therapist?" he asked, clearly taken aback. _Why would Rose need a therapist,_ he thought.

"There's a lot that you don't know, Dimitri. That letter will shed some light on what's going on and hopefully make things better."

Dimitri's only response was a quick nod before he began scanning the contents of the pages. Loose tendrils of hair fell forward while he was reading, but he just let them fall. The more he read, the more his apprehension grew. He couldn't help the automatic response of running his hand through his hair several times. He was so engrossed in the letter, that once he had finished, he realized he was now alone.

Putting the letter down on the coffee table he covered his eyes with the palms of his hands. _This is a nightmare_ , he thought, _a living nightmare._ As the realization began to set in on what his actions had wrought, despair began to eat its way through him, like a worm feasting on rotted vegetation. Once again, he had brought pain and anguish to the only woman he had ever loved.

Dimitri was sitting there debating what course of action he should take. His heart screamed to go to Rose. His logical side knew, however, that she wouldn't listen to him, and would likely rain down hell upon him and the princess. Waging an internal battle, his heart finally won. He quickly went into his room to put on his duster. He then returned to the parlor, took the precious letter, folded it tenderly and placed it in the inside pocket of his duster. With that he set out to find Rose, letting fate decide what would be in store for them.

* * *

Rose knew her friend and charge was up to something. She had insisted on Rose taking the day off, arguing that she would only require one guardian for the day, as she would be attending various meetings with the Queen. She had requested Eddie's presence for the assignment, letting Rose know in no uncertain terms she should enjoy the respite. What Lissa failed to realize was that work was one of the few things that allowed Rose to forget about the pain. It was the one thing that allowed her to block out everything but her duty. There, she was Guardian Hathaway; kick-ass protector and strigoi killer. Here, alone, she was just Rose, the young, love-struck sap who fell for the wrong man.

Anxious to find some way to deviate from her usual morose musings on her non-existent love life, she considered calling some friends. Surely she'd be able to find someone who would want to socialize. Unfortunately, as a result of her anti-social behavior of late, she was limited as to the number of individuals she could call. Finally deciding to see if Adrian was free, she dialed his number, only to be met by his voicemail.

Deciding against leaving a message, she hung up and wandered into the kitchen. Opening the cabinet, she took down a glass, dropped a few ice cubes in, and poured it to the top with some Southern Comfort. She chuckled in amusement as she considered the look on Adrian's face if he were to see what she was drinking. As a self-described connoisseur of liquor, Adrian would have scolded her for her selection. She was just about to refill her glass but was derailed by a knock on the door. With a smirk still on her lips, she opened the door, assuming it was her erstwhile drinking companion.

Her face fell, as she took in the man before her. "Are you lost?" she asked, her tone tinged with disdain.

"No, I came to talk to you," he said before stepping around her and entering the tiny quarters.

She watched in astonishment as he moved further into the small space. "Oh, well then you must've hit your head because we don't talk. Please, let yourself in," she said sarcastically before closing the door. Turning back around she saw him watching her intently. Feeling her stomach beginning to knot and the blood beginning to rush from her head, she took a large swig from the glass she held firmly in her hand. "How do you even know where I live?" she grumbled.

"Guardian secrets," he said, a small ghost of a smile playing across his lips.

A tsunami of emotions cascaded over her as she recalled the last time he had said those words. It had been over a year since he had uttered them; a year of trials, of new found love, and of loss. It was the loss that fueled her rage now. "I _am_ a guardian," she bit out. "I am no longer that stupid little girl that didn't know any better. We are equals now," she said with as much vehemence as she could muster.

Serious once again, Dimitri replied, "I apologize. I didn't mean to imply anything." Sighing, he said, "This is really important, Rose."

"That's Guardian Hathaway to you." She knew she was acting childish, but she didn't care. "Now, if you will excuse me, I think you should leave," she said, motioning him toward the door.

Dimitri stood firmly in place, his arms folded across his chest. "I am not leaving until we've talked."

Rose walked around his hulking form, unable to avoid the heady aroma that was distinctly his as it wafted around her. Gripping the glass tightly in her hand, she was surprised it didn't shatter around her fingers. Picking up the bottle, she emptied the remainder of the contents into the glass. Taking a large gulp, she steeled herself and turned around. She found Dimitri standing in the same position, watching her closely. "I believe you've said everything that needed saying, Guardian Belikov." Walking over to the desk, she turned and leaned against it, sipping her drink.

She saw his features morph from those of stoic guardian to a frustrated and anguished man. Reaching into his coat, he pulled sheets of paper from inside. Holding them out to her, Dimitri asked, "Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you tell me about the pain I caused you or what you were going through? All this time you were suffering."

Rose's ears were ringing as she took in his words, or rather tried to. All her attention was focused on the private thoughts he held clutched in his hand. Everything became suddenly clear. Lissa's insistence on her taking the day off. Rose's inability to enter Lissa's thoughts. She felt the rage and betrayal well within in, building up to a crescendo.

Slamming the glass down, she gripped the worn desk tightly, hearing the slight moan of the wood. Before it splintered, she stood up, eyeing him menacingly. "It's not like you were very forthcoming, Guardian Belikov!" Rose still refused to say his name. Deciding that she could at least let out some of her fury on him, she yelled, "I tried! I tried so hard, but you never let me in! You just kept pushing me away!"

"I know, and I'm sorry," he implored, all the while not looking at Rose.

She wondered if that was shame he was displaying. _He should feel ashamed after the way he's treated me,_ she thought bitterly. "You're sorry? That's all you have to say?" she asked incredulously. "Answering me this, are you with Tasha?"

"What?" he replied, a look of utter confusion at her line of questioning.

"Are you with her?" she repeated, punctuating each word.

"I don't know what that has to do with-"

"Just answer the damn question!" Rose shrieked.

"It's not like that Rose. Let me explain," he implored. He took a step closer to her, holding his hand out. Rose wasn't sure if it was as a calming gesture or if he wanted to touch her. Regardless, she didn't want either so she immediately took two steps back, wanting to distance herself from him as much as possible. Taking the hint, he stopped where he was, and replaced his hand slowly at his side. She didn't fail to miss the flash of hurt that crossed his eyes at her reaction.

"I don't need an explanation. It's a simple yes, or no question." she bit out, crossing her arms over her chest. She truly was a masochist; a glutton for pain. It was obvious by the look of guilt that graced his still finely chiseled features, by his indirect answer, and how he avoided her gaze. She knew the answer, but she still wanted to hear him say the words. Rose needed to hear him say it. She supposed it would be the final nail in the coffin of what had once been the best thing in her life.

He ran a hand over his hair before responding, "Yes, but-"

"Get out," she interrupted. She had heard enough.

"Rose please let me explain. It's not what you think," he said in raw desperation.

Before, this would have halted her in her tracks. It would've made her stop and listen to what he had to say, but not anymore. He had gone too far and hurt her too much. Regardless, there was nothing he could say. At least nothing that she wanted to hear. She was done listening to him. She had let the situation go too far, but not anymore. She laughed, though it resonated with sadness and held no humor. "No, I'm done listening to you. I said, get the fuck out of my house!" She then proceeded to shove him to the door. Although she knew he could very well have resisted her easily had he really wanted to, he didn't.

"Roza, please," he begged, imploring her to listen to what he had to say, but she adamantly refused. She wouldn't even look at him as she closed the door in his face. After she had the door closed, she slowly slid down the hard wood, letting out all the emotions she had been holding in. Hot tears of anguish and dismay stained her cheeks while her body racked with uncontrollable sobs. She could hear him on the other side of the door, and she knew that he could hear her, but she didn't care. After what felt like forever, she finally heard his footsteps echoing down the corridor outside her apartment, taking any semblance of their life together with him.

* * *

Crestfallen, Dimitri walked back to the quarters he shared with Tasha. He didn't feel like dealing with anyone and needed time to process his conversation with Rose. He knew he shouldn't have pushed her, especially when she was clearly inebriated, but he couldn't help it. He wanted to talk to her and explain everything. Explain that he distanced himself from her because of his fears and insecurities. He finally wanted to explain everything he had gone through; it was the very least she deserved.

Once in his room, he shrugged off his duster, carefully hanging it in the closet and sat unceremoniously on his bed. Leaning forward, he covered his face with his hands. Unfortunately, he wasn't allowed to brood for long, as he had heard a quick knock on the door followed by a soft voice, "May I come in?"

Sighing, Dimitri stood up and walked to the door. He was planning on telling her he wasn't in the mood for talking when Tasha, taking the door opening as an invitation, breezed past. "I was just going to see if…" She stopped herself short as she took in Dimitri's dejected appearance. "Dimitri, what's the matter?" she asked, her voice tinged with concern. He was about to answer 'nothing', but Tasha sagely cut him off, "Don't say nothing! Anyone could take one good look at you and know that something is bothering you."

"I tried to talk to Rose today," he said, his voice hollow and empty of emotion.

He saw the flash of surprise in her eyes before she responded, "About what?"

"About what happened…after," he replied.

Tasha sighed heavily before responding, "Dimitri, I thought we talked about this already? You made the right decision." Walking up to him, she placed her hand to his chest. "I'm not saying this to cause you pain, but what was done to Rose, by you, isn't something you can simply forgive and forget, Dimitri. We both know that in the end, she would have either resented or feared you. Perhaps both. Besides, you needed time to heal and recover from your ordeal. You were in no position to help Rose through her own traumas."

"Of course, you're right. I just didn't realize she was in so much pain. I…I just thought maybe if I talked to her-"

"That you'd make her understand?" Tasha, said, finishing his thought. He nodded, his expression pained and grievous. "How could she ever understand? She loved you, Dimitri. The man she loved held her hostage, tortured her, _fed_ from her, and nearly killed her. The only thing you could have accomplished, Dimka, would have been to refresh old wounds that should have scarred over by now," she said, subconsciously touching the side of her face. Silence hung about the room like a heavy blanket before Tasha spoke, "Have you given any more thought to my proposal?"

While not borderline obsessive, Tasha had been relentless in her desire for her and Dimitri to expand their relationship into one of a more romantic nature. She had made her desires clear to have a child, and to have Dimitri be the father. He would be lying if he said he hadn't given it more than a passing thought. However, while he cared deeply for her, he knew he neither carried the requisite attachment to Tasha, nor the base desire to be a father. Not after what had happened; not after what he had done.

Placing both hands on her shoulders, he rubbed his thumbs across them, trying to soothe away the hurt his words would bring. "I'm sorry, Tasha. My answer is no."

"It's because of _her_ , isn't it?" Tasha spat out, venom lacing her words.

Shaking his head, Dimitri replied, "No, not entirely. Tasha, you are a dear friend. I treasure that and you. But, if I'm completely honest with us both, I'm still in love with Rose. Besides, even if that weren't the case, I don't think I deserve to be a father. Not after…"

"Damn it, Dimitri!" Tasha shouted. "When are you going to let that go? That's not who you are _now_. You know you always wanted to be a father, and you would make such a good one," she said pleadingly. Her hands were now grasping at his shirt. "We could make this work, I know it. You love me, I know you do. In time…in time you would forget about _her_ , and we could be a family."

It was as if her words lifted the veil from his eyes. He now saw what he had been so blind to before. He knew if he stayed, Tasha would remain bound to him, but not in a way that would bring either of them true happiness. He wanted her to find more – better even. He also realized after his conversation with Rose, as well as reading about her despair, that he really only had one recourse left. Carefully, Dimitri reached up and pulled her clenched fists from his shirt. Bringing them to his mouth, he placed a light kiss upon them before releasing them. "I do love you, Tasha. Just not in the way you want or deserve."

Turning, he picked up and slid on his duster. Making his way to the front door, he reached for the knob. "Where are you going?" Tasha cried out.

"To request a transfer. I think it's best I leave," he replied. "We all need a fresh a start." With that he exited the suite, closed the door behind him and set off to see a man about a job.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: This story was written in collaboration with the wonderfully fantastical hbarker! You rock!  
**

 **Hope you find this chapter was well worth the wait!**

 **Extended AN at the end.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own VA or any of its characters!**

* * *

Rose woke up disoriented. She groggily took in her surroundings. Finding herself seated and propped against the front door, she couldn't help but wondering how she had come to be in such an odd position. Just as soon as the thought passed, images of the previous night slammed into her. They were so powerful she felt she might have fallen over by the intensity of her emotions, had she not already been seated. Rose shed silent tears, remembering everything that had transpired. However, quickly her sadness morphed into anger, and Rose felt her rage start to build and rise. Idly, she wondered if it was spirit darkness that was affecting her mood, making matters much worse. Rose wiped away angrily at her tears, not wanting to shed any more over the man that once was her everything.

Rising slowly, she steadied herself with the door as the room tilt sideways with the quick change in position. Once she felt her equilibrium settle, she gently tried to work out the kink in her neck. Her muscles felt sore, and her back ached. She also had a pounding headache and tried to massage her temples to ease the pain, all to no avail. Feeling the telltale signs of a hangover, Rose groaned and padded her way to the kitchen. Once she had water and painkillers in her, she quickly showered and got ready for the day. Seeing as she was – miraculously –relatively early, Rose headed for the café closest to Lissa's place for a much-needed breakfast. As Rose could attest, working a full shift with a hangover was never fun. Once food was ordered and received, she leisurely ate her meal, all the while contemplating on what she would do once she confronted Lissa. Because she _would_ confront her.

It was just a matter of when.

* * *

Lissa felt nervous. Her anxiety only grew when she hadn't heard from Rose all night. _Surely things must have went well, right_? She tried to convince herself, though she felt a deep knot in the pit of her stomach telling her otherwise. Lissa was rapidly pacing the floor of her living room, all the while nervously wringing her hands and checking the clock continuously. Rose would be arriving at any moment, and she just hoped that she would see her friend in much better spirits. So lost in thought, she squealed and nearly jumped in fright when she heard a quiet voice travel say, "Princess."

Lissa immediately placed a hand over her rapidly beating heart, as if to prevent it from jumping right out of her chest. She turned to greet the silent newcomer, apprehension evident on her features.

"Rose! You nearly scared me to death!" Lissa chided, playfully frowning at her favorite guardian.

"My apologies, Princess. That was not my intention."

Lissa felt the knot twist further. She noted Rose's tone, lack of expression and stiff stature – all signs of what Rose coined her 'guardian mask'.

Surely if things had one well, her best friend would be beaming now. Yes, she'd expected Rose to scold her for giving her letter to Dimitri. However, she also expected to see some semblance of the old Rose Hathaway back. But this – this was so much worse! Taking in Rose's hollow, almost lifeless eyes, her blank face, and her overall appearance, Lissa knew for a fact that things had not gone as she had hoped. The young royal swallowed, hoping to clear some of the dryness in her throat brought on by her realization.

"So, how was your day off," she queried, nervously. She figured she'd bite the bullet and flat out ask her. Her nerves wouldn't give her reprieve until she knew the extent of the damage her actions had wrought.

Unfortunately, Rose wasn't very forthcoming, "We have to get going, Princess. You don't want to be late for classes, right?" Rose's avoidance of her question quickly led Lissa to deduce that her friend was absolutely furious with her. Rose was making a point of it by using the term that Lissa detested.

"Rose, please don't call me that," she pleaded, but received only a blank expression in return. Lissa sighed; she realized she had a long day ahead.

The day was painstakingly slow –much to Lissa's dismay. It didn't help that when she'd glance at her best friend, she'd see her either scowling in her direction, or maintaining a blank expression. Lissa couldn't decide which was worse.

When she couldn't take the silence any longer –and desperate to understand how Rose was feeling –she peered at her friend and protector closely. Lissa was surprised to see aura awash in nearly all back. The few colors on display showed anger, betrayal and grief that only intensified when Rose looked her way. It almost physically hurt at the knowledge that _she_ was the cause of her best friend's pain. Had she kept her nose right where it belonged, she wouldn't be in this mess. Rose wouldn't be upset with her, and they wouldn't have a huge fight – one she was anxiously awaiting to erupt at any given moment. Yet, she had done the right thing, hadn't she? _Yes_ , she decided readily, _she had_. Rose was suffering immensely, and Lissa tried to ease the pain by bringing her and Dimitri together. The princess knew that both were pining for each other – if their shared history and auras were any indication. She just couldn't fathom what could possibly have occurred so that everything had gone so terribly wrong.

Perhaps she could call Dimitri and get the scoop from him? _No_ , she immediately discarded the idea. _That won't do. Rose is my near guard, and nothing will get past her; especially not an attempted covert phone call to Dimitri._ Sighing, Lissa resigned herself to the inevitable.

Nevertheless, the more she thought about it, the more fear gripped her heart. What if this was the breaking point of their friendship? What if Rose had felt so completely betrayed that she'd never forgive her? The thought was almost too painful to bear. She shook her thoughts immediately. She couldn't think like that lest she become a nervous wreck. Their friendship was strong, and could weather any turbulence that would come their way. At least, that's what she hoped.

When the day had finally ended, and Lissa had not heard a word from her guardian, she visibly relaxed. She thought that perhaps there would be no confrontation – at least not yet. It would seem that Rose would give her the silent treatment for a few days until she was ready to speak. Lissa did not mind; if anything, she felt grateful. If Rose wanted time to reflect on Lissa's actions, she'd likely _understand_ her reasoning on why she took the course she did. Going to Dimitri and giving him Rose's letter was for her best friend, after all. Although, things didn't go quite as she hoped, apparently, it did not mean that she did not have the best intentions at heart – to see her best friend happy again.

Her thoughts kept her distracted throughout the day, both in her classes and her meeting with the Queen. Luckily, all that was ever really required of her at the moment was the appearance of interest and the occasional nod of her head.

As they day came to an end, they arrived at Lissa's home without incident. Lissa went straight to her dining room to set her bag down. She had a large load of assignments – both political and academic – and found it easiest to work at her dining table instead of the desk in her room. Something about having her bed in such close proximity while doing insipid work made her sleepy. Although –if she were completely honest with herself –it was the actual work that brought on her restlessness, and not the close proximity of a bed.

Lissa eyed her guardian cautiously, wondering if she should bid her farewell. She further pondered if it would be a good idea to invite Rose to stay for dinner. She didn't want to push her luck though. She knew her best friend was angry. Lissa soon realized that she was questioning her every move, and she hated it. She hated the deafening silence and the sense of walking on eggshells. Luckily, she didn't have to suffer long. As soon as the clock chimed, signifying the end of Rose's shift, her guardian finally decided to speak.

"How could you?" Rose said.

"What?" Lissa asked confusedly. She was confused not only by the question, but at hearing Rose speak. She was certain Rose would continue giving her the silent treatment, at least for a few days.

"How could you do that to me?" Rose asked. Although her outward appearance was calm – eerily so – Lissa could tell there was a storm brewing just beneath the surface, waiting to erupt at any provocation.

"I don't know…" she whispered, her voice dropping off, all the while wringing her hands and staring at her feet. She just couldn't look Rose in the eyes. She felt guilty enough without having to look at her and see the pain, hurt and betrayal she was sure to see etched on her friend's face.

The brunette laughed mirthlessly, "Don't give me that bull, _Princess_. I'm right here, remember?" She said while pointing her index finger at her temple, as if Lissa needed a reminder of their bond. It was one of the few things she could rely on.

She looked up with a frown, "Then why bother asking? Clearly you already know my motivations."

"Because, I want to hear you say the words. I want you to explain why you decided to betray me," Rose deadpanned.

"I didn't betray you Rose –"

Rose's cruel laugh cut her off. "Oh no? Then what would you call going behind _my_ back, stealing _my_ journal, and giving it to the one person who should have _never_ laid eyes on it to begin with? I poured my heart out onto those pages, and you didn't give a damn!"

Lissa flinched at the accusation. Hearing how Rose saw her actions, she realized how it could be viewed as a betrayal. "Rose that's not true, I –"

"So why'd you do it, huh? To push me to my breaking point? Cause me to snap?" she roared while easily flipping over the chair nearby.

Lissa winced at the loud crashing noise that resulted, and immediately stepped back. She had only seen Rose this angry once before, and it didn't turn out very well for the person on the receiving end. "Because I was tired of seeing you this way!" Lissa cried out.

"What way?" Rose questioned mockingly.

"You, walking around as if there is absolutely nothing worth living for! You, acting as if you're a lifeless machine! Drinking yourself to oblivion almost every night! Rose, you have absolutely no idea how much we love you! We're all worried about you," Rose shot her a disbelieving look, but Lissa pressed on, not giving Rose the chance to interject, "Yes, I'm not the only one who's noticed your drastic change."

Rose scoffed, but Lissa continued. "I'm tired of seeing you like this, I just want my best friend back! In a gentle whisper, she muttered, "This isn't you, Rose."

Unfortunately, what was meant to be an 'eye-opening' admission seemed to further fuel Rose's outrage. "This isn't an afterschool special, this is _my_ life!"

"I know it is, and I understand what you're going through. I just wanted to help –"  
"You don't even know what I'm going through – what I've _been_ through! You have _no idea_ what it feels like to have love and lose it," she replied with finality.

What little patience Lissa retained was momentarily lost at Rose's accusation. Stepping in front of Rose, until there was little space between them, she narrowed her eyes and replied, "Don't I? I lost my family Rose, _my family_! My mother, father and brother all gone in an instant!" Her ire slightly deflated, she took a small step back. "You know that very well. I almost lost you, too." Even now, she could feel the sharp ache that always accompanied her thoughts of her loved ones. Thoughts of what could have been, but would never be.

"Until you saved me, is that it? You think you can do anything with me you please, just because you brought me back from the dead? I never asked to be saved! I can't believe you're actually rubbing that in my face!" she replied incredulously, shaking her head in disgust.

"By Vlad, Rose, no! That's not what I –" She wanted to explain. She needed Rose to understand that she'd never blame her for what happened – ever. It was an unfortunate accident. She was lucky that she was at least able to recover at least one family member – her sister. She also wanted Rose to realize that she did understand what it felt like to lose a loved one – given she'd lost three. Yet, she was not able to utter a single word, as Rose wouldn't allow it.

"You know what? I can't even look at you right now!" She thundered before abruptly turning her heel and vacating the premises, leaving Lissa at a loss of what to say, or even think.

* * *

Rose stormed out of Lissa's house, not wanting to spend a moment longer with the woman. She admitted that it was true – she hadn't been herself in quite some time. But that gave Lissa absolutely no right to meddle in her affairs the way she did! Rose had half the mind of marching to Guardian headquarters and demand to be reallocated. However, intelligently, she knew she should take the time to think things through, and not act out of anger. Instead, she took a quick turn to the right and went to guardian housing. Once she was in her unit, Rose quickly changed into her workout gear. She knew she needed release, as she could feel spirit darkness gnawing at her, threatening to overwhelm her. So, she sought release the only way she could – the gym.

After several hours of working herself to the bone, which included several laps, replacing not one, but two punching bags from the onslaught they received, and sparring with several guardians, Rose decided she had enough for the day. Barely arriving outside her home, she wanted nothing more than to pass out from pure exhaustion and let blissful nothingness consume her. Things, however, never turned out as she planned – a lesson she had learned long ago. Nevertheless, what was waiting for her at her doorstep was a shock, to say the least.

Seeing Tasha knocking, almost forcibly, at her door had Rose pondering if she'd be able to slink off without being detected. She was in no mood to speak with Tasha. Hadn't the woman had enough? What more could she possibly want from Rose? She already taken away the only man she ever loved, as well as any happiness she might have found. Rose refused to let Tasha take any more. Granted, it technically wasn't Tasha's fault that Dimitri chose her over Rose. Apparently, the best woman – in Dimitri's eyes – won. But still, she couldn't help but feel a bitter distaste toward her and was in no mood to play nice.

Quickly turning to make her getaway, she was not able to get far, as her water bottle slipped and landed on the ground with a loud _clank_. The noise was so loud that Rose was certain the sound echoed in the hallway. She was sure it was just to mock her, thwarting any chance of making a smooth escape from the awkwardness she knew was about to ensue. Groaning, she muttered a few expletives under her breath while picking up the offensive bottle. Later, she would get rid of the bottle, simply out of sheer principle.

"Oh, Rose," Tasha called out. "I just stopped by to speak with you. Do you have a moment?"

Rose's initial response was a resonating 'no'. Instead, took a deep breath and replied, "Sure, Tasha, what can I do for you? I hope you weren't waiting long?" She walked up to her unit and opened the door as she spoke. Glancing at Tasha's frigid posture, she knew that the answer was yes –Tasha had been waiting a while.

Instead, Tasha responded with a tight smile that didn't reach her eyes, "Not at all. May I come in?"

"Of course," she responded graciously. Rose stepped aside to let her pass, and quickly followed behind her. She felt uneasy at the thought of being alone with Tasha in her unit. Her feelings increased at the sight of the other woman's expression when she closed the door. Rose was almost taken aback by the sheer hatred that reflected in the raven-haired woman's cold-as-ice blue eyes.

The look on Tasha's face would have struck fear in the hearts of many, but Rose wasn't just any person; she was a trained guardian. _A trained killing machine_ , she thought sardonically. She laughed at the face of danger. Okay, maybe not laughed exactly, but definitely faced it head on. With that thought, the brown-eyed guardian stood a bit straighter and confronted the woman in front of her.

"So, what was it that you needed to speak with me about? I'm afraid I don't have much time as I have an early shift tomorrow, and need to get settled soon, " Rose stated in a not-so-subtle hint for Tasha to spit out what she had come to say – in as polite a manner as she could muster, of course.

Casually, Tasha replied, "Oh nothing, I just wanted to know what you and Dimitri spoke about last night."

Rose could tell that this conversation would be anything but nonchalant. "Excuse me?" Rose frowned. She hardly thought it was any of her business what she and Dimitri spoke about.

"I don't think there's any way to misinterpret what I just said. Let me rephrase, what did you say to Dimitri?" This time the request came out as it was meant to be – a demand.

Rose's features hardened. "Let _me_ rephrase. I hardly think that is any of your business," she deadpanned.

"It is my business when the father of _my_ children has decided to leave!" Tasha hissed.

The words stung, although Rose couldn't distinguish what hurt more, the thought of Tasha and Dimitri having children, or the fact that he was gone.

"What?" she sputtered.

"Oh, you didn't know?" she replied sickly sweet, "He left. He's been reassigned to St. Basil's. St. Basil's! Do you have any idea how far away that is?" Tasha questioned.

Rose had a rough idea, given she knew it was in Russia. Somewhat close to Dimitri's home town, Baia. Nevertheless, she didn't have a chance to respond, given Tasha was on a verbal rampage. Not that she could respond at the moment anyway, seeing as her mind was still reeling over the news. _Dimitri left. Why did he leave?_ She questioned inwardly. He had what he wanted in Tasha, after all. She just couldn't wrap her mind around it.

"Tell me what you did to him; I have to know," Tasha almost pleaded, pulling Rose out of her thoughts. "Before yesterday, we were fine – happy even! We had a home; we were together, and we were going to start a family," she said, eyes shining with unshed tears. "But just one conversation with you," she snarled, her emotions switching from sorrow to fury in a blink of an eye, "and all of that careful planning has gone to shit! I _deserve_ an explanation."

"Then get it from him. I owe you absolutely nothing," Rose retorted, responding with every bit of irreverence the raven-haired woman deserved.

"Look here, you obstinate girl, I have had enough of you. Don't think I haven't been watching you. I've kept a close eye on you the moment I realized that Dimitri actually cared for you. Although I can't say that I know, let alone understand, why." Tasha eyed her questioningly, as if the answers would magically appear scrawled on Rose's face.

Rose, indignant, scowled at the insult. The reaction, however, didn't faze Tasha. She continued her verbal lashing, "And through all of my observations, do you want to know what I think of you, Rose?"

"Not in particular, no. I honestly don't care what you think." She shrugged. It was true – she didn't give an absolute shit what Tasha thought.

"I think you're pathetic," she continued, as if Rose hadn't uttered a word.

"Excuse me?" she asked, making sure she heard the woman correctly.

"Pathetic. It's quite sad, actually. The way you were pining for him – are _still_ pining for him, after all this time. After him telling you _clearly_ that he doesn't want you. I've seen you watching me _,_ you know _._ Looking to see if I'm pregnant." Tasha laughed mockingly. "I've also seen you watching him. What were you thinking Rose? What life would be like if he chose you over me? Let me break it to you now, darling. Don't bother. He hasn't chosen you, nor will he _ever_ choose you. That was clear the moment he decided to accept _my_ offer, live under _my_ roof, and be in a relationship with _me._ He never even gave you a second thought. You whining about it, and making Lissa worry unnecessarily over you, isn't going to change a thing. It only shows how truly pitiful you are. A word of advice – stop victimizing yourself. It's time to put on your big-girl-panties and move on, and let the rest of us get on with our lives as well."

For the first time in her life, Rose was at a complete loss of words. No one had ever insulted her like that before and gotten away with it. She wasn't going to let it start happening now. And having her ridiculer in _her_ home, _insulting her,_ was just that much worse. Rose had half the mind of showing Tasha exactly how 'pathetic' she was – with her fists!

Rose's logical side, however, won out over her temporary fit of insanity, arguing that if the altercation between the two had resulted in physical violence, Rose would be in a world of trouble. Perhaps being stripped of her guardian title. A moroi – even a disgraced one – took precedence over a dhampir any day. Furthermore, she realized, it was perhaps what Tasha had intended, inciting a physical altercation as retaliation for her wounded ego over Dimitri's abrupt departure. After her analysis, Rose had decided –begrudgingly – that she would not harm Tasha, even though she desperately wanted to. She refused to play into Tasha's game. With that in mind, she had only one recourse left.

"Get out Tasha," Rose commanded, but the raven-haired woman outright refused. "I said get out or I'll make you – and let's just say, I'll make you regret the day you were born. After all, I was trained by the best." Rose smirked, knowing that if it came down to it, she would definitely fulfill her promise. She had enough of listening to Tasha's ramblings and wanted to be left alone before doing any serious irreparable damage.

"Is that a threat?" the woman asked, challengingly.

"No, it's a warning." Rose wasn't sure if it was the tone of her voice, or the menacing look she was casting, but Tasha paled substantially. It was comical, really. Given Tasha was already as pale as moroi come, but scaring her like that left her as white as a sheet. Obviously, Tasha hadn't thought through the ramifications of getting physical with a guardian would be, one that was trained by her precious 'Dimka,' no less. She was grateful, nonetheless. As much as she wanted to punch Tasha in her stupid face, she didn't want to get in trouble because of the bitch, and lose her position to boot.

Tasha immediately walked toward, opened and walked out the front door. Turning back, she began to say, "This isn't over-"

However, the rest of her words were cut off by Rose's door slamming in her face. Rose let out a shaky breath. It had taken all the self-restraint she possessed not to beat the living daylights out of Tasha, but she had done it. _And people say I have no self-control_ , she huffed as she thought wryly.

As Rose readied herself for bed, her mind kept going back to her confrontation with Tasha – more than she wanted to admit. The more she thought about it, the more she realized that there might actually be some truth to what Tasha had said. It was true that she never liked the woman, and after today, her apathy for the moroi only increased. Especially after the way she treated her. She was acting just as pompous as several royal moroi families at court – nothing like the image she had painstakingly created for everyone. Still, she felt that Tasha's observations had hit a little too close to home.

Had Rose really fallen so deep that she was viewed as pathetic? What did it matter what Tasha thought anyway? The raven-haired woman could kiss her ass, as far as Rose was concerned. And yet, Rose still couldn't shake the feeling that there was some truth to what the woman had said. Had Lissa not been worrying incessantly over Rose? Had her other friends not expressed concern over her wellbeing?

Rose had to admit – begrudgingly – that Tasha might have been onto something. Not that Rose was excusing her actions, because she wasn't.

Clearly the woman had lost her mind when Dimitri had left her. She sighed. _Oh, Dimitri._ Rose knew things would have been simpler had they turned out the way they had originally planned – the way she dreamed. But she couldn't hold onto him, not anymore. He had gotten as far away from her as possible – literally half way across earth. She knew now, more than ever, that it was truly time to let him go. After all, he had long since let her go, and she should do the same.

In the quiet dark of her room, Rose truly let the love of her life go. She decided that she would not be defined by a man, any man, and would be the woman she wanted to be –the woman she truly was. Rose Hathaway was a fighter, after all. It just took some time and a proverbial slap in the face for her to realize.

Slipping between the sheets of her bed, with that last thought, Rose let sleep consume her – eager to start anew.

* * *

 **AN: Hello wonderful readers! I'm so sorry for the delay. Life has a way of coming at you, and lets just say that 2016 really kicked my butt! This is a New Year, however, and I am very much looking forward to it.**

 **First, I'd like to thank, and give a round of applause to hbarker for this chapter! She's super busy, and was still able to find the time to make this chapter truly amazing. THANK YOU!**

 **A special thank you to Llaria6 for being the wonderfully kind person she is, and also for encouraging me to write. I hope you enjoy it! If any of you haven't had the chance to do so already, please check out her works, her latest is 'Deputy Belikov.' Fantastically thought out and beautifully written!**

 **Special shout out to xfangurlx as well! :D**

 **I'd also like to thank everyone who has reviewed! I'm so sorry I haven't gotten back to your reviews, but know that I read every single one. I'll start responding from here on out, promise. And to all of our wonderful guests who I cannot respond, a sincere thank you to you as well!**

 **Please don't forget to review and let us know your thoughts!**

 **-Lea**


	6. Shameless Broadcast Announcement

Hello wonderful readers!

This is a shameless broadcasting announcement!

Tomorrow is Valentine's day, and as some of you may know, Lllaria6 and Swimming The Same Deep Waters have worked very hard to gather writers together to bring a compilation of Romitri for all you wonderful readers celebrating not only Valentine's day, but also the 10th anniversary of VA. I was one was one of the lucky chosen, and have written a one-shot to be included. My story is called 'Misadventures of a Teenage Dhampir.' I really hope you all enjoy it!

Here's a snippet to hold you guys over:

* * *

Those thoughts, however, soon vanished as she witnessed him taking off his sweater, shirt accidentally coming along with it. The rock-hard abs and toned pecks, chiseled to perfection, that peeked underneath his shirt made her mouth go dry –well drier, seeing as she was going without water. Rose quickly averted her gaze. She didn't want to get caught ogling his 'naked man-flesh,' as he'd likely consider her a pervert. _But who wouldn't stare?_ She thought, _no one in their right mind could possibly resist_. Still, she didn't think she'd gain much by letting him know he was the finest specimen of man she had ever set her eyes on. _Shit,_ she thought, _I'm doing it again. I can't crush on my mentor!_ She mentally berated herself. Regardless of her internal struggle, that image was now burned in her mind and she knew, without a doubt, she'd revisit it at a later time –several times, in fact.

With a wistful sigh, Rose began her usual stretches. However, Dimitri's struggle couldn't go un-witnessed, and Rose's eyes immediately drifted back to him without her consent. She was admiring the view when she felt his piercing gaze. Her mind had drifted back to a few days ago, when Dimitri had caught her and Jesse in the student lounge. The words she said played back to her, but this time, he was saying it instead of her. _See something you like?_ Is what she thought his eyes were asking, further punctuated by his raised brow. They both stood frozen in place, eyes roaming over the other, when they suddenly heard a student's shout from outside, it was as if the tentative spell they had been under was broken.

* * *

Please make sure to keep an eye out for **'Valentine's Day one-shot compilation** ,' by **VA10thanniversaryproject**.  
And here's the link below in case you have troubles finding it, its rated M.

www .fanfiction s/12364335/1/VA-Valentine-s-Day-One-Shot-Compilation

Please mind the spaces, its the only way I could post the link without FF cutting it off.

Sorry if you thought this was an update for Desolate. Fear not! It will be coming soon! What I can say is that next chapter will be in DPOV, and we'll be seeing what he's up to at St. Basil's. :D

-Lea


	7. Chapter 7

**Hello there! I know I really don't have an excuse for my ghastly hiatus on this story! I hope this chapter will appease you all!**

 **A warning, the first part of the chapter is rated M. Those of you who prefer not to read can skip on to the next line break. I marked the end so it could be skipped on to there if you prefer.**

 **Also, this chapter is in DPOV, 6 months later.**

 **Hope you guys like it!**

* * *

 **Start 'M' Scene**

Dimitri found himself in a situation he didn't think he'd ever be in again, at least not any time soon. His head was curtained by long locks of beautiful, wavy brown hair, obscuring his view of everything else around him. As much as he longed to touch it, he much preferred where his hands were at the moment, gripping the hips of the beauty that was straddling him. He loved the way the silk of her nightgown felt underneath his grasp, urging his hands to slide up and travel to the swell of her breasts. Nevertheless, he kept his hands locked at her hips, setting the tempo of her gentle rocking –urging her to go faster and harder. Not that she minded –he knew she loved it when he was in control. He could feel her breath on his neck, and hear her gentle moans that were only getting louder with need. He could also hear her rapid heartbeat, almost as fast as a hummingbird and inwardly smiled.

Even though the room was dark, he could see everything clearly. He noted that although there was a slight pallor of her almond skin, her cheeks were flushed with need, and her lips were swollen from kissing him. The deepness of her wanton brown eyes were offset by her pupils that were fully dilated with desire. Desire only _he_ could insight in her. He could hardly see the gold flecks in her irises as she was staring down at him.

She quickly grabbed his hands and locked them above his head and smirked at him, "Didn't think I still had it in me, huh comrade?"

As much as this action would have excited him before, he didn't have much of a taste for it now, so he quickly flipped them over. Hovering over her, he ran his hands possessively over her body while he pressed his desire for her into her core –earning a loud moan in response. Her desire for him was palpable, and the sweet fragrance of her want filled his senses.

"Is this what you want, Roza?" He asked her, voice husky.

Panting, she could barely nod in response.

He tsked her. "I want you to tell me." He deepened his accent, just the way he knew she loved.

"Yes," she let out breathlessly.

"You can have it all, you know. You could have _me_. All you have to do is say the word." He told her, grinding deeply into her soaked panties to further drive his point. She writhed beneath him and dug her nails in his back, but still didn't say what he desperately wanted to hear.

"I, I don't know." She said unsure.

 _'After all of this, how could she still refuse?'_ He thought angrily. His patience was wearing thin, and his desire for her was almost past his breaking point. Using desire was a double-edged sword, after all. If he takes her now, he was sure he'd kill her in the act. Being a new strigoi, he would undoubtedly lose control during coitus, and drain her dry –he knows this as a fact since he's done it before. Although he didn't regret it then, he knew he would now if it were Rose. He'd have no choice but to turn her. But still, he wanted her to choose. Knowing Rose, she'd kill him immediately for unwillingly turning her. No, he couldn't risk turning her involuntarily. She _had_ to choose this life on her own.

Before letting out his frustration on her, he decided to pull back, lest he take her now and all of his careful planning would have been for nothing. He didn't miss the noise of protest she made, but with one cold glare he cast her way, she remained silent.

He ran a hand roughly through his hair. Things were not going as planned. Her time in this gilded cage was limited. Galina's patience wasn't limitless, after all. Nathan didn't help matters either; crowing about Rose _having_ to help take down the last Dragomir. Dimitri didn't give a shit about the Dragomir princess. He had his sights set higher – _much_ higher. Why aim for a measly title when you can have the world at your feet? ' _The buffoon',_ Dimitri thought.

Seeing as Dimitri wasn't going to get what he wanted tonight, he got up to make his leave. He didn't get very far, however, as Rose's hand quickly shot out to grip his forearm. He turned to her, glaring at her for stopping him. He then noticed she moved her hair to the side, and tilted her head exposing her neck. He smirked thinking, ' _Maybe this will be easier than I thought after all_ ,' before taking the offering that was clearly given to him.

* * *

 ** _End of 'M' Scene_**

Dimitri woke up gasping and drenched in sweat. His dream had been so vivid, he could still taste Rose's blood in his mouth and his desire for her made it back to the here-and-now. He groaned, completely repulsed by himself. How could he have such desires after everything he'd done to her? How could his treacherous body react this way?

He still dreamt of his strigoi days. He honestly couldn't decide which were worse, the ones he dreamt of killing others, or the ones when he dreamt of Rose. Nevertheless, he has been learning to forgive himself –slowly but surely –with the help of his adoring family. The Belikova's had been ecstatic at the news that he'd been reallocated to St. Basil's. They hadn't had him in such close proximity, for such a long period of time, in years. Although Dimitri failed to tell them the circumstances of his reallocation –him leaving to give himself and Tasha much needed space, not to mention it was the only place that would take an 'ex-strigoi' in with little to no questions asked –his family had been ecstatic and didn't ask many questions, so Dimitri didn't offer any real explanations.

Every other weekend he'd head home to visit and was met with a beaming Olena bustling in the kitchen, making his favorite foods. He'd also play with Paul, and taught him easy chores to do around the house –'man duties' –while he's away. Sonya and Karolina were ecstatic to have another helping hand with the kids. And although Viktoria had seemed happy, she was also standoffish towards him. He suspects it had something to do with the fallout between Vika and Roza –no, not Roza, Rose –but no matter how much he probed, he never got any answers, so he eventually let it go. The only person who seemed to be dissatisfied with his arrival had been Yeva. He remembers the day clearly.

* * *

Dimitri _finally_ made it home after a long flight, and even a longer time on the road. Luckily he arrived just before sunset. Dusting his boots on the doorstep, he let himself in and switched into his domashniye tapochki* that his mother had so thoughtfully set out for him by the door. He smiled as he gingerly put them on, unsure if they'd still fit. Once on –although a bit snug –he set out into the kitchen where he can hear a flurry of pots and pans banging, with the melodious voices of his family chatting about this and that. Dimitri couldn't help but be a silent observer. It had been so long since he'd seen his family, let alone see them working in such contentedness that any greeting he had shied away, and left him leaning at the doorway of the kitchen, with an amused smile on his face.

Olena had been the first to acknowledge his presence.

"Dimka!" She squealed, as she hurriedly made her way into his arm, his sisters following soon after.

After the greetings and happy exclamations from everyone present, Olena enquired as to his presence. "Not that I am not happy to see you, my darling boy, but why are you here? The last we heard, you were guarding Tasha Ozera. Did something happen?" And with a look of trepidation, she cleared her throat and inquired further, "Are you engaged to her?"

"No mama, nothing like that. I realized how much I missed you all and decided it would be best for me to return here, or rather, St. Basil's. I'm the new guardian there." Although Dimitri let out some key points, he didn't want to worry his family further, regardless, there was not much that could be done about it now.

Most present seemed to take his answer for face value, all but Yeva, of course. Shortly after his proclamation, Yeva stated she needed him before dragging him out into her personal sitting room. Although every room was a basic free for all in the Belikov house, Yeva reserved her sitting room just for her. Yeva claimed she was entitled to it, as she was the matriarch of the family. All were smart enough to not argue with her edict.

Once she ushered him in and closed the door behind him, she turned around and wacked the side of his head.

"Ow," was his only response as he rubbed the spot she hit. He dared not ask why, he knew he likely deserved more.

"Why are you here?" She questioned.

"I told you, babushka, that I came back because…"

She cut him off before he could finish, "I know what you said to the others, but why are you here? You shouldn't be here, Dimka." She chided softly.

He could only stare at the rug on the floor. He knew she was right, but felt he had no other recourse left. He couldn't continue guarding Tasha; that was for sure! And who knew if he would even get work at court, seeing the stigma of him being an ex-strigoi, job offers weren't exactly forthcoming as they once had been.

He sighed, shoulders slumped, "I don't know what you want me to say, babushka. All I could say was that I could not remain there, not as things were."

"That what you need will only be given once you have forgiven yourself," was Yeva's only reply. Dimitri wasn't sure what to make of this statement. How could he ever forgive himself for the harm he'd caused? And what did she mean by need? Surely he had everything he needed here in his hometown, with his family. What he really needed was peace, and though he doubted he deserved it, he desperately hoped he could find it here with his family.

Before Dimitri could reply, Yeva turned and left the room, muttering something about 'headstrong, idiotic grandson's that don't know what's good for them, even if it fell on his lap.'

* * *

Although Yeva warmed up to Dimitri, how could she not? He was her favorite (and only) grandson, after all, she never gave her approbation of his presence. These days she'd regard him, give him a dark look before muttering something underhanded and walking away. Though it pained Dimitri, he decided it was best to let her be, there was no arguing with Yeva, as he well knew.

Shaking his thoughts, Dimitri gets up to get ready for the day. He settled into the same routine he had been for the past six months. He showered –a cold one, he needed it –dressed, and enjoyed a good dose of strong coffee. Dimitri had been working the night shifts for the past six months while at St. Basils. He tried to see the brighter side of the situation –literally –as he had the delight in being able to bask in the sun. Although there wouldn't be much to enjoy come winter, but that was a worry for another time. It was spring, and although it was cold, it was still manageable.

He enjoyed walking in solitude along the ward lines. St. Basil's was cleverly situated in the middle of a forest, thus it was surrounded by breathtaking views of pines, spruces and larches as far as the eye could see. Although Dimitri –ever the vigilant guardian –would keep on high alert of his surroundings, he'd find that often times than not, he'd think back to the moments after his restoration. Regret and anger –at himself, of course –would eventually course through him without prevail. He'd also berate himself, wishing he'd done things differently. If only he'd ran to Rose, instead of avoiding her. If only he'd accepted her love for him, instead of pushing her away. But none of the "if only's" could turn back time, they couldn't let him repair all the damage he had done.

Time and space helped Dimitri see things clearly, and with clarity came anger for his complete and total stupidity. Granted, although Tasha didn't help with matters, he had no one to blame but himself. He just wished he could make things better, even now. He desperately wanted to go back to court and make things right with Rose, but knew he couldn't, at least not as soon as he wanted to. Firstly, there was the matter of monetary considerations, him being a guardian at St. Basil's hardly paid enough, and most of the money he was making was going towards his family –why should he keep all of it? He definitely did not deserve it, and they needed it now with all the mouths to feed at home.

Second, was that he feared the reception he would have once he arrived back at court. What would Rose think of him? Him abandoning her for a _second_ time, he was the worst being of all time, and most definitely did not deserve her forgiveness. He felt wretched. He knew he needed to clear things with Rose, but given his reception the last they spoke, he doubted she would even give him the time of day; though he'd have to say it would be much deserved. He already tried to contact Rose, several times in fact, and all he received in return was her unmitigated silence. He just hoped that once he finally made it back to court he could beg the woman he loved, on his hands and knees if need be, for her forgiveness. He could do nothing less. His anxiety was that with the passing of time, he would forever lose the chance (as dismal as it may be) to ever earn her forgiveness.

With a wistful sigh, Dimitri withdrew his precious letter –worn from the constant folding and unfolding –from his duster pocket. Since he had done this various times, he already knew the letter forwards and backwards by heart. However, for some odd reason, he felt just a bit closer to Rose while reading her messy scrawl. There were times when he'd even trace a finger over some of the letters, wishing he could take the pain from its owner away. He knew he couldn't though, and so after several times of reading it over, he'd pocket his precious letter –the only remaining item he had of Rose –and continued his journey with thoughts only of the dhampir woman who stole his heart and the utter feeling of woe that he would never have her again.

Dimitri was interrupted from his melancholic reverie by a phone call. Looking at his phone's screen he was shocked at the name that appeared on the screen. It was a call from a person he wasn't expecting, let alone ever dreamed would be calling _him._

With much trepidation he hurriedly answered his phone, "Belikov."

* * *

 **For the sake of not having to google translate a big chunk of the chapter, when Dimitri is speaking to his family, let's assume they're speaking in Russian. ;)**

 **Any guesses on who the caller is?**

 **A special thanks to Lllaria6 and** **SwimmingTheSameDeepWaters, I showed them that first scene a LONG time ago! I hope you both like the improvements! Thanks Llaria6 for that extra nudge I needed to post this update.**

 **Also, thank you all for your encouragements to continue this** **story!**

 **Oh, before I forget! There is a petition bring VA back guys on change dot org! won't let me post the exact site, but if you google: Bring Back the Vampire Academy series change dot org, you should find it! Please sign** **guys! Lets make Frostbite Happen!**

*domashniye tapochki= house slippers


End file.
